SWITCH

How to cook:

Previously, as in yesterday, I would have felt I did not have the cooking knowledge to teach someone how to cook. I would have felt this way because I could not cook anything. Well actually wait a minute, we have these microwavable lasagna things and I could do that.

Anyway, my cooking experience came to be today when I had people over at my house. A friend of mine from my camp and his girlfriend were visiting me from Pennsylvania, and people were getting hungry. All of this happened on the rare occurrence that we were the only people in the house, the other 200 people who live here were all out. That meant I had to find us food. So the hunt began!

First we went looking for Kraft Dinner (the States call this "Kraft Macaroni and Cheese", idiots). I did not find any of this, so we went to the freezer! Anyway this story is getting long so I'm going to skip to the chase we got perogies because everyone loves perogies but they were frozen, ON TO THE COOKING!

I had tried to make perogies before but I did not defrost them so they were good on the outside, but frozen on the inside and so I threw them out. This time, of course, I learned from my mistake and threw them into the microwave on "AUTO-DEFROST!" So they were defrosted whoo.

Through the 7 minute defrosting time I had the "element" on the stove turned on, on high. It was pretty hot. I could have sworn that when you make perogies you put oil on the pan, I could not find vegetable oil so I put some other kind I forget what it was, and I don't feel like going downstairs to check. Anyway yeah. I put a bit on, and I was like I think it needs more, so that the pan would be somewhat covered. Anyway here is tip #2, tip #1 was defrost frozen stuff, tip #2 is a little more chemistry related, OIL + HEAT = FIRE. So anyway, I had on my stove a pan of fire. It was a neat little trick, but I figured maybe I should put the fire out, so I brought it over to the sink. Now I know you probably thought the gold nuggets of information I had given you already were enough, but there's more!

Here is equation #2, Tip #3. Memorize it, it'll be on the test. GREASE FIRE + WATER = BIGGER FIRE. So I know had in my hand a pan, with a huge fire in it. My quick thinking told me to turn off the water. So I did, reached around it as much as possible but still it was a big fire, and turned the tap off. The fire stopped immediately, and I checked for burnt things and some how there were none, including my arm. So far the cooking was going well. Although smoke did fill the room, and the smoke alarm went off.

If I were by myself, I woulda tried again, but since I had guests I figured they might wanna live/eat food that wasn't cooked directly on fire, so I phoned our cell phone. My dad picked up, and, to the background noise of the smoke alarm, I asked him how to cook perogies. He told me you put butter on the pan, so I did that. It worked and I made some perogies, the first bit were a little burnt but only a little, the second bit were a little undercooked, but again only a little. So all in all it was a successful outing. I made perogies, and no one died. They even tasted pretty good.